r2g

Start with the end in mind – Can”t score if you don”t have a goal – Where do you want to be ….  have used all of these phrases – passionately – and I am not gong to write a blog about how they are bollocks, I don”t believe that to be true.

HOWEVER – sometimes they are not necessary, sometimes they restrict you, creatively, emotionally, physically, playfully, sexually and spiritually (hahaha – never had that one in an appraisal)..

Watching my two eldest son”s at their football club presentation this weekend – the format was, get together for a bit of a knock around, go to the big tent and have a presentation from their manager – bugger off and play whilst parents get pissed in the sunshine – brilliant – haven”t a clue where they were for most of the time, but they had a great time and so did I.

Stood at the side of the pitch with a pint (usual at Rugby – a risk in Football) I was watching some of the dots – with socks bigger than their legs – play. Bit of a game and Johnny Fast gets the ball and runs around, whilst others say go Johnny go. Ball in net a few times, Johnny has an even larger over inflated ego and the other lads trudge off in various states of “whatever”. At the side of the pitch the lads waiting for their slot are messing around with a ball. It goes between all of them – there are some great skills and some funny blast it at that parent who isn”t looking moments and an even funnier take it in turns to put your head between your legs and have your mate blast the ball at your arse. They nearly all have a smile on their face – and I sorta think they are very alive and in the moment, with their mates, laughing if they get it wrong, trying some skill school stuff they never dared before, laughing at each other in a healthy way when it doesn”t – because even their Johnny fast drops the ball when he is trying something new or different. They go on the pitch for the game and leave it to Johnny …

My minds jumps to thinking about Johnny fast – I”ve been in teams at work and play with a Johnny fast and sometimes it has been cool, sometimes I have been Johnny and loved it, sometimes I have been Johnny and hated it, sometimes I have been jealous of Johnny, sometimes it has been boring, sometimes I have become massively dis-engaged, sometimes I have made plans to shoot Johnny with a big fucking gun, sometimes I have purposely turned others against Johnny – Machiavellian styley. I think when Johnny is plan A, B and C the latter ones thrive. I think Johnny doesn”t like being plan A all the time either and he might get something different / better out of being in the team / group.

I also reflected afterwards on Johnny Fast being the part of our personalities that we use too  much and get bored of. Our skills can sort of define us – fast, musical, strong, good looking, footballer, actor, leader, organised, great dancer.. But do they define us or pigeon hole us, not only in others minds but also in our own. Do we lose the value of these strengths because they get over used? What are the bits of you that you need to remind yourself about and maybe show others. How can you be strong enough to say I won”t be Johnny Fast today – fuck you, I”m going to  write some poetry.

Culturally we love the underdog – if it”s Paul Potts or Susan Boyle this only lasts until we realise they are Johnny Fasts” – the gits!. Why is that – if both of these had been FIT (like the lass from Worcester with the screaming dog this time round) it wouldn”t have worked. Maybe some of it is us having a bit if us we lock away and we initially admire them because they have let there”s out and they are our hero – then the media machine that is Cowell rams them down our throat and we end up wanting to feed them to pot headed Crocodile with a massive dose of the munchies kicking in.

What I do know is that we grow by experimenting – trying – risking something. We help others grow by giving them the environment and permission to do the same. Whilst you are focusing on your goal – you don”t play for the hell / fun of it. Whilst you are focusing on your goal you only see other people for the bits that can help you – not the whole that can help a hell of a lot more.

So goals are good – you can type it in google and you”ll get loads of people telling you so and they ain”t all wrong – although some of them are complete and utter twats. But allowing yourself a time to play without a goal is as – if not more – important.

WARNING: If you decide in a flurry of goalessness to go outside and kick a ball or dance like no ones watching with your kids, and then you start telling them how to put X right. You are fighting against your institutionalised brain that is saying goal, goal, goal.. Best solution is to kick yourself in the head or even better to get your kid to do it whilst shouting abuse to a background of my perfect cousin – (that”s for the film)